from now on my penis is your penis
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
Randomize