I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Randomize
