Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Randomize
