Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
I love having hate sex.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
