I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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