We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize
