And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Randomize
