didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
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