so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
