I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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