I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
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