For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
