You work out of a Hotel?
Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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