I didn't shave. On purpose
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
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