lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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