We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
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