I wish I could punch you in the face.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
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