I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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