I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
