He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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