GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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