I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
