well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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