apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
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