and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
