I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Randomize
