did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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