also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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