Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
