You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
