remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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