As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
bring money and cleavage
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Randomize
