Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
