I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
jump out the window naked night went bad
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