She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
