a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
The best revenge is premature balding
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Randomize
