I like to think it a success when the cops are called
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
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