theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
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