he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
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