Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Randomize
