I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
