we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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