omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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