Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
