How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
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