Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize