i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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