that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
