She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
jump out the window naked night went bad
Randomize
