I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Randomize
