Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
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