remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
fuck your aforementioned shoe
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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