It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
