Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize