Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
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