I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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