I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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