You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Randomize
