I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Randomize
