You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
