we have pet lesbian snakes
If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Randomize
