Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
