i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
We had to coat check the pizza.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
