he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
