I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
