i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
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